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Parkinson's and love
A contribution by our author "Dini"
from the section "Life Paths"

Parkinson's and love

Our author "Dini" has approached this topic, which is more of a sorrow than a happiness for those affected, in her very personal way. She shares her experience with us and gives hope to those who have given up.

Jurgen Zender, August 29.11.2023, XNUMX

Who would take me, who would want a woman by their side who has an illness that will increasingly take away her quality of life?
Who wants to give up their life, their freedom bit by bit, for someone they just met?
Who is willing to help? Who is willing to take on a journey that involves an uncertain path?
Who wants to live a life with someone like me?

All the questions were there, the thoughts that were circling around me as I stood at the train station in Stuttgart. And waited for the train into my new life.

I've thought about it so much over the past few weeks, I've used my rehab, and my goal has never been clearer. It's time, time for a new life, time for me and my daughter to go.

I knew that ending my marriage after 16 years was the right decision. I was aware that I will probably be alone forever, only my daughter at my side, who of course will eventually stand in front of me and make her way into her independent life.

I was aware of all this, and yet I was happier than ever, because it all felt good and right. Living with an alcoholic is not living. Neither for me nor for my child. My daughter's father now lives in a nursing facility, he is dry, but the realization came too late, he will never be able to live independently again due to the consequences of alcohol consumption.

But he lives for that you should be thankful.

And me? What about me, why are men so afraid of my illness? I was sitting with a friend, he looked at me and said stop looking, you'll never find anything until you stop looking. There is the right one for each of us, each of us is so busy searching that we will encounter the right one again and again, but will never notice it. As long as you search, you will always meet the wrong ones, so just stop doing it, the right one will come by itself.

I don't know why, but exactly this sentence was so essential for me, because it was the same, I have to stop looking. I have to live I have to learn to live.

I was only 21 years old when I got married, and even then it was really just an escape. Today I realize that, today I know that it was never love, it was an escape that I have paid a high price for all these years. But without this escape I would not have the most important thing at my side today, my daughter.

2 years ago I found out what love is.


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